I love the dog.

Look at how adorable she can be!

However, there are also times when her beag-ness just totally loses it and decides irrationally to leap from the house as I am letting out one of the meowies. This was followed by a nerve wrecking  five minute tough mudder course full of horse manure and foot damage. I actually had to long jump to tackle her. Skip, step and something and then Beagle contact. I had to actually ask Harley for help. Then all three of us needed a bath.

And while we are venting…we do we have to stack when we sleep? Surely there is enough room for all? It is a queen size after all. She kicks and pushes me around and is sometimes gassy. Worse than a man.

Speaking of which…best thing ever? Worst thing ever? Either I need to see my therapist more or he needs to start going to his own. Or I should just tell him to man up. Or I should just go with my original thought of giving up on the lost cause. No matter how cute he is.

I am very happy with my little day today. I accomplished a ton without even really meaning to. I always strive but today I slept in and then tackled one chore at a time quite happily. Barn cleaned, compost and recycling out, ATV gassed, cactus removal completed (Midge’s 6 foot tall cactus took a tumble and I needed to dispose of it) and I even painted my hooves. Nine bubblegum pink and one sparkly purple.

Also lots of this…

Har time!

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Friday I spoiled myself and met up with Melly so we could get our hair did. I didn’t prepare properly for this, usually I come armed to the hilt with ideas and Karly and I discuss and go from there. Instead I relied on my current mood and Pinterest…and Karly’s wonderful and magical stylist brain.

White blond and blue black. Super, super super fun.

I had a rendition of this years ago but with a bob and in highlight form, that doesn’t even hold a candle to this. There is actual talk of this happening again. A repeat. Which as a rule, never happens. But when it’s this good sometimes you just gotta stick with it y’know?

And look how it goes with my gorgeous yellow trench and nerd glasses!

I cannot stress enough…Nature’s Accolade is the only place I will trust my hair with. And this is kind of a big deal because not only am I known for having excellent and unique hair but I am also extraordinarily picky. Not kidding! I will only subject my hairs to the best!

And also, let me also stress that I adore any Melly time I can get. Sitting across from you is one of my greatest joys in life. I am so glad I don’t have Aspbergers and that we can have fun in salons and poolside and even at Swiss Chalet and always smile and make each other laugh. I love you!

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

And to further add to my impressive catalogue of ridiculous heterosexual online dating misadventures…

You may remember Freddy from this post last year…he’s number two. He may hold the current record of how many lies he spun in such a short period of time. Guy lies about owning a dog of all things! One coffee date was a little bit of torture and now after not speaking after our coffee date for about six months he’s wondering if I’m mad at him. And also if I am interested in a shag.

Obviously Freddy is a romantic.

John is a dumping ground for his children because his ex-wife actually has a life and he doesn’t. Therefore he constantly cancels because he has to pick them up from school because __________ came up. But then, as I mention to him I am having dinner with a friend that night, he gives me a huge lecture via text about wasting my night with a friend when I could be with him. I say, hoes before bros. Not to mention…he spends the majority of phone time LOUDLY laughing at his own (lethally not funny) jokes, refers to himself as Chef Mad Skills in the kitchen, he’s cheap, AND his life goal is to throw it down in a Starbucks washroom.

Gone. Done. Thanks but no thanks.

Phil is a general manager of a restaurant. But which one? Cause he doesn’t seem to want to mention. Then one day it comes out and without naming names it’s more of a kiosk than a restaurant really. Okay, fine, I’m an adult and I’m not going to be a Judgey Judgerson. He likes cats, has three at his condo and three at his parents. And although this is a big plus he never has basically anything  to say and also never actually asks me out. It peters out from there.

I get a somewhat dramatic message about how I can delete my profile because we’re such a great match et al. Phone calls and a whole two-ish months of mostly texting we have coffee once two weeks ago. He’s cute and tall. He lied about a couple of things on his profile, some things I can deal with, some I am wary about. He seems gruff which I pass off to nerves and then at one point he smiles as he looks at the window and literally bounds from the table and outside to talk to a friend. As I’m sitting there, alone and confused, I think I should bolt but I don’t. I don’t know why but I was actually excited about this dude, that hasn’t happened in a long time. He’s busy, I respect that, but seems to not be interested. I, being way too blunt, bring it up and we decide to collectively try harder. I try my best to peruse even though I am not used to such things and then I give up. Then, last night, apres kiss off, I get every single picture I ever sent him forwarded back to me in the spanse of an hour.

Why? No idea.

And as this is all going on of course I am still avoiding messages from Married, because after seven years of off and on drama I have absolutely just lost interest. I told my life coach that when I hear Married pick up the keys to his tugboat my emotional sailboat just instantly capsizes. I lose the whole crew with the mere thought of his manipulative communication.

I love my crew too much to let that happen again.

And this is why my mittens, we are deleting the profile. Maybe I need some time to myself and without drama, bullshit and hilariously sad, yet soul crushing, pointless happenings. I am actually questioning my faith in humanity at this point, joining the club of bitter women who agree that all these guys online are picked through and damaged. My legendary resilience just no longer up to par.

Profile offline. So not worth it.

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Oh Brain, you and your logic and intellect and high emotional IQ.

I tried. I really did.

I don’t get this. I guess it’s just games. I really haven’t ever subscribed to that because I’m an adult and I don’t think treating people unfairly is a good time. I strive to be fair and positive and try to surround myself with the same.

Misjudged this one.

His loss.

Everything is a lesson right?

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Because I’m mostly always in charge of desserts and to celebrate day one of the Christinka gets her body back diet I thought I could reminensce about the brilliance that was my Easter cake.

Hummingbird/Sam’s cake, you can never lose. Best ever.

Omit raisins, replace with almonds.

Also, cream cheese icing with lemon. Also, toast some coconut and dye green. Also, place sugar bunnies and eggs just so.

I was made for this type of thing. I used to have dillusions of grandeur but now mostly I just want to clean the house and do laundry and make things pretty and nest. Swoon.

I had to practically elbow a little old lady for those sugar bunnies at Bulk Barn. That was the day I spend over a hundred dollars on two toddlers for Easter and then realized maybe I need to not spoil Violet so much. She could become a little despot! A tiny queen hellbent on desturuction. Another Veruca Salt.

Then again, there is possibly no way to avoid the little one taking after me. Muhahaha!

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Get it? Wah wah.

Something to be said for sleeping in, enjoying a non-rushed coffee and taking your time preparing for fam jams. Also, early morning Beagle snuggles. Much <3 Sunday.

Three types this year because Pinterest is making me so scattered and indecisive. All these good ideas and then to make matters worse Midge pipes in with a couple gems of her own, from her own Pinterest no less, and sweet Jesus we’re overachieving. It’s too many good ideas.

Also, some of this is hormonal nesting. FU estrogen.

Via Martha and Pinterest. It’s like they joined forces to jeopardize all my free time. I made that grapevine wreath myself. I know right? It was surprisingly easy but super dangerous because as you weave these guys have a tendency to suddenly snap back. And by back I mean the only thing stopping them is your face. Or worse, retinas.

Happy to report we all survived.

What a group!

I must have had at least 100 grams of sugar each day for the last few days. Easy. It has to stop. I am addicted to sugar and also admit freely I’m eating my feelings. Hey this didn’t work out so here’s some cookies! Decisions are hard but calories are easy! Devoid of fun and Christinka makes like Bridget and starts nomming.

Done with it. April start date.

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

There was a huge full moon last night. I know this because we had a stare-down at 5 a.m. 11 past is my new-wake-up-in-panic-for-no-reason time. Emergency Marty hug time.  Bottom line if your dreams don’t scare you then they aren’t big enough. Got it? I’m not the only one so that makes me feel better.

Rescue Relief yourself in to a coma and back to sleep for another few hours. I thought perhaps going to bed too early was the issue but no, it’s my brain and lack of sense-making. YH working on that, gave up googling things to the point of nausea and convincing myself I probably have ________ and also _________.

My doctor laughed at my various diagnosis. That was during the #surprisepap.

And all this comes in handy when I have to leave the house super early (for me) and go vendor shopping and to the greatest place on earth and laugh and laugh and be half of a very loudly dressed team. THEN after a suitable amount of whining in the weeks previous to yesterday, I agreed to meet some guy for coffee even though it was not a freshly washed hair day. (I lather the mop every other day, I bathe daily don’t be a dick.)

Living on the edge babies.

Best/worst first ‘date’ ever, not going in to really much detail since this very web address is vinyl-ed on to my little Bella and y’know. Hi! I’m a big believer in the whole ‘jinx’ thing so I’m just going to show (quite uncharacteristic) sensibility and discretion and leave it at this; Tall guys…worth the climb every time. (Hope.)

And that.

P.S: I’m going to out Martha myself this Easter…just saying.

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

It’s hard to enjoy your dinner with that face staring at you. As much as I was concentrating on Corrie Street and rooting heavily for the kabob affair of 2013 my eyes would eventually drift upon those eyes. The occasional yawn or whimper thrown in for good measure. The Orphan look is big at our house. When this proves not enough she then jumps beside you, inching her way to the plate until her nose just sits at the very edge.

Eventually she wins. Always.

Kinda like me.

Tomorrow is wholesale shopping goodness.

I’m a lucky girl.

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Everyone is watching Girls and telling me to watch Girls and so I have been and yeah, I get it. It’s like me and you and us and replace NY with Toronto and we’ve all been there. OCD not as much then as now and Lena’s got nothing on me.

All I’m saying is, via hashtag no less, #surprisepap. It’s like the good doc knew if he didn’t corner me it just wasn’t going to happen.

I’ve got a touch of the blahs that perhaps could be remedied as it’s delicious springtime now although it was a bloody snowstorm all day.  Maybe not. Also, y’know I kinda have been putting off actually living my life because fretting about it incessantly is much more productive. For three or so years. Blushes.

Much like a #pap, life can only be avoided for so long jyes loves? Maybe that’s something we can use in the rebrand, a happy change for a new(ish) focus. Again, life coach is back on the scene and telling me to be kind to myself. A warm and comforting thought that I am following through with.

Let’s all okay?

Source: Estyleme

More Currybomb-esque Goodness:

Again, the stars. They’re all gathering nicely. When we had a trampoline I loved lying on it at night and watching the stars and sleeping there. I should get a trampoline. Someone please, get me a trampoline.

Glad we had this talk.

Weekend was super relaxed and was just what I needed actually. Pep talks left and right and I appeciated it. I truly do have an amazing circle of friends. All honest and forthcoming and selfless and hilarious. Lovely. You bunch of sluts I just adore you.

Also, this helps any sort of stress melt away…

Made lackluster orange sesame chicken last night…sigh. The Internet totally failed me on that one. Oh sure I crowded the pan and may have mis-measured the corn starch but otherwise I cannot take blame for that debacle. Bland-ville.

I still have blog re-brand plans. I was offline for two whole days last week without even knowing…seemed my hosting plan just straight done expired on little ol’ me. I just want the interface somewhat simplier, you’re going to get more but also less. If that makes any sense at all…

Enough about me, how are you?

More Currybomb-esque Goodness: