PSA – Haters
Always remember such things, don’t sweat the small stuff or you could lose your swagger, which I have read can be devastating. Or your dreams or momentum or joy could just pick up and head for Cabo leaving you listless and blue. Not things to be lost lightly.
Grain of salt.
No, you’re a saucy baby.
Define ‘Time Wasted’
So with the news that Coyote and I plan to cohabitate in sin (YAY) I spent the last couple of weeks telling each of my friendlies the big news. Most greeted the news with a hug, a smile, congratulations etc. Some had questions about the place we are moving in to (the place Coyote has lived for five years, main floor of a house), how close will I now be to the city (closer, which I am oddly happy about) and when the housewarming party is (must finish renos and painting).
And others were gleeful that Coyote must now be my Prince Charming so when’s the wedding?
And another was assuming he must be my Prince Charming because why would I waste time with him now that I’m 30? And if this doesn’t work out then man, I’ll be 3_ and single again, what a waste of my time.
Huh?
You know ‘gag’ is in the middle of the word ‘engagement’ right?
When did moving in with someone, who you’ve been doing for a year, suddenly have to become a marriage because we’re over 30? I’m not saying I wouldn’t consider marrying that kicky Ginger and he is charming most certainly but it’s not all unicorns and roses. He watches too many sports, is a spendthrift and doesn’t want to quit smoking. I’m a mouthpiece dreamer asshole with my head in the clouds who longs to cat farm for the rest of her life and save everything stray she can find.
We all have faults!
I understand being from a small town I am a minority being 30 and not having children or at the very least being married or engaged. But still I feel it archaic to assume such things. Peer pressure isn’t welcomed at anytime or on any subject. Neither is pity. (Yes, that has even happened too.) But if this doesn’t work out…and God forbid I was slightly older, this would be the end of the world?
Let’s break this down. I’m 30. He’s 34. When I am 80 and he is 84…we could be very happily surrounded by small ginger grandchildren, have a nice place in Boca and still dote on our gay son. OR. We could still be dating. OR. We could have gotten married, had a bunch of kids, eventually divorced and remarried and finally I get to sleep with Keanu Reeves and he gets to do Alyssa Milano. OR. We could decide to see other people for a bit. OR. We could just become co-parents to the cats and be roommates. OR we live together for a week and the cats and I have to slither back to the Mothership. OR…ANYTHING.
Stranger things have happened, never underestimate me about the Keanu thing.
The fact is, everyone needs to relax. Oprah’s not married to Stedman/Gail, are you concerned about her happiness too? I get your worried my eggs will dry up and i’ll end up old and alone with too many cats (dream come true for me). however I do not need you urgency pushed upon me. I am not urging. I am living day by day, raising three great cats and still enjoying a weekly Kinder Egg and not worrying about if or when or how Coyote feels about me on a daily basis.
We’re good. He’s a super guy. I’m a super girl.
So guess what? I’m not pregnant, married or engaged. But I am happy and thankful and in love and excited and always looking for an adventure. And I will be like that next year, and the year after and the year after and so forth and so forth. But thanks for worrying about my eggs.
Living Quarters Visionboard #2
Beautiful! Look at everything so well organized and all that storage space…swooners.
Naturally, for the meowies.
I have girl wood for a good bed. I have one of those cheesy bed nets, oodles of different duvets and covers and an Ikea frog thing that is gigantic and has an air pocket inside guarding my bed alongside my Alec rabbit and Corrina, my childhood cabbage patch. Bed is good, I enjoy sleeping, it can cure all. And a romantic bed to Internet, read and snuggle in (amongst other fascinating activities) always makes my heart leap a little.
If you live in an old boxcar does that indeed make you some sort of new-age hobo? I once saw a fascinating fight in the middle of an intersection between two homeless people. The dude standing beside me (I was not a spectator, I was merely attempting to cross said intersection) was so excited about this fight, he wanted to take bets like it was a futuristic version of railroad scrapping hobos.
Which is why I can never live in one of those above houses but can admire from afar.
Turning Point #3 – Diet
As my metabolism seems to sputter, clutch its chest and drag itself through the days I have come to the realisation that I badly need to make some changes in the name of health. Grab the foodie reins and pull back. I’m in my healthy granola stage remember, eliminating all toxins, being a dirty hippie, vegetarianism, drum circles, growing my hair super long, wearing a lot of flowy cotton etc.
So I put on my investigative/determined face and promptly sign up for My Fitness Pal to find out exactly what I put in to my body daily.
I may never recover from the findings of such research.
First, it’s a great system. Conveinently and easily you can track your daily diet, water intake, exercise and I have yet to stumble upon a food already not entered in to the system. So for a solid week I record everything I digest. I double check nutrients on the labels of everything I intake to ensure my results are as accurate as possible. I eat a candy, that gets recorded, every calorie counted, no gram of sodium left behind.
And it turns out…I am a hummingbird.
Hellbent on sugar and water and buzzing around until the inevitable 6:30 p.m. crash, curled up like a shrimp on the sofa, mouth agap. Attractive I know.
Sugar and I have been friendlies for many a moon, we’re a team. In fact so much so that it was my number one preferred crutch. Nicotine a close second. This sweet tooth of mine is a long time project of mine. But I didn’t realize just how badly over my limit I was…especially on a daily basis.
Thanks mostly to a trip to Bulk Barn and their Jordan Almond selection I was a total of 51 grams OVER of my daily limit of sugar on the very firts day recording. Over, not under, OVER.
17.5 grams of fat and 350 calories, 30 grams of sugar. $1.97. Let’s say good bye to our good friend the Golden delicious apple chips that I eat at least twice a week for breakfast or a snack. Those numbers are for the whole bag, at 2.5 servings per bag however someone with as little self control as I have might want to shy away from such goods. That’s 10 more grams of sugar than my daily allotment!
And our good friend sugar does many things to ones body;
* supresses the immune system (oh look I have walking pneumonia)
* it can cause you pancreas to have a freak out otherwise known as diabetis
* it ruins your teeth (candy is dandy but sex doesn’t rot your teeth – wisdom from mother)
* it slows your digestional tract
* sugar makes Tinka fat and emotional
I know I’m sweet enough without it but something I also noticed thanks to keeping tabs on my foods…I don’t touch the amount of protein or fat I require on a daily basis. Instead I load up on carbs and sugars. I go low-fat or even non-fat often enough but also without eating meat forget about our friend protein. And protein is awesome for you and your muscles, tissues and cells.
So…
Turning over a new dietary leaf. No pop, no chocolate, no junk. Eliminate the processed and properly nourish self. I shall miss you more than you will ever know Sprinkle-Donut-Eating-Your-Feelings-Day Tonight I made a killer Kale, Quinoa and Chickpea salad…expect lots more recipes on here as I try to cleanse my diet.
Any tips darlings? Exercise or diet suggestions hmmm?
Turning Point #2 – Time Wasting
Oh I’m a pro. I am in the top percentile of those who can live and breathe for an entire day yet not have anything to show for it.
I can accomplish some typical actions without assistance. Remove self from bed, begin the day with a bath. Put on some yoga pants and a cat centric t-shirt, grab a coffee. Even go as far as to write down a to-do list. But then things take a drastic turn after sustenance and usually because of the cosmic pull of Iphone, Ipad, Television things go awry. I can Internet for 14 hours straight and magically accomplish not one thing of notation.
And that throws off the entire balance of my life.
Best therapist in the world had a great way of getting me to gauge every situation in my life. Sailboat. How does _________ effect the ballast of my emotional sailboat? I am tits deep in the water and the lifeboats are deployed? Or are we even on both starboard and port side gliding across the blue. Or whats happening here? Well this time wasting bullshit generally Titanics my little boat of measure each and every-time.
And what do I spend all that time doing?
Internet: Muppet Youtube videos, Wikipedia-ing ummmm everything, online window shopping, trolling Ebay for deals.
Television: Re-Watching movies (I’ve seen Mean Girls about ten times at this point), real estate or debt related reality television, british soap operas, shows about storage units, repossessing vehicles, old Seinfeld episodes.
Iphone/Ipad: Bejewelled blitz, Hootsuite, Pinterest pinning.
All good things, all in moderation.
Not being sucked in and thinking over and over I should be detailing my car, fixing my favourite necklace that broke in NYC or otherwise accomplishing something useful. I don’t even make the time to regularly read my favourite blogs, look in to crafts I want to test drive, finish blogging my NYC pictures or organize and backup my pictures. It’s just me and Kermit trying to justify another dress.
Silly! I’m a grown-up!
So, how do I fix this? Well, schedule and prioritize and create a space conducive to concentration and accomplishment. If I had easier access to my sewing machine chances are I would find a couple of minutes to repair my vintage leopard coat that’s had a seam come loose…two years ago. Or show you all my NYC pictures and further regal you with tales of what’s it’s like to live with Marty the cat.
So. I’m going cold turkey on Muppets and Youtubes and Ebays and window shopping online. I am giving myself an hour an evening to Internet, still holding myself to the resolution to post 365 times this year on this very bloggingtons. If anything I will forgive myself almost immediatly for not buying all those things from Forever21 I don’t really need and the time I save myself not justifying those things to myself will be put to good use.
I’ve had the dream catcher crafting supplies for over a year, it’s time to grab the bull by the horns.
Turning Point #1 – Enabling
Got yelled at.
I probably needed to be yelled at.
I leaked. Partly because everything she was saying was true. I care sometimes a little too much and someone had to tell me.
Caring is good but often I too easily morph in to a sitter for grown adults. I worry and plan and fret over holidays and how to make every occasion special and accommodating everyone over myself. It’s easy to lose sight of the actual occasion, the true purpose when I am the one frantic over making everyone else happy. Or putting up with someone or something all in the name of being a ‘good person’.
In fact, it’s complete and total bullshit to waste time on people who don’t waste time on you.
No longer is it my problem to ensure that everyone is together on special occasions. Or that they receive nice presents and/or thoughtful cards. I am surrounded by adults and therefore it is not my diligent duty to make sure everyone remembers a birthday or organizes the date and time or the party or the food, otherwise overachieve the whole shindig. If I want to make someone feel special on their birthday or at other such occasion then I only need to be concerned with my contribution.
I am not the camp counsellor in charge of keeping it all together.
And while we’re on the topic, the toxics. We all have them or had them or are still dealing with them. Value add. That’s what the people around you should have, we all bring a special something to the table of our relationships and friendships. Except sometimes with some people. And this is another thing I am done with. I can’t pretend any longer, it’s not the norm to have a group of people whom are around you in which you know are not honest, loving, kind or reciprocal.
Again, I call bullshit.
I will however waste a ton of time on the people that matter to me. So look at me being 30 and cutting out the crap.
Resolutions
I am aware it’s just the alteration of a date but I surmise in the first few weeks of a new year there is electricity in the air. New tides full of adventure not unlike a fresh and bright canvas for the entirety of the days to remain of that year. Swoon sweeties. I always feel it my absolute commitment to rock the tits of the year ahead, in this case…
ROCK THE TITS OFF OF ’12.
So, as I have done in the past I make resolutions for the coming 300 or so days and come hell or high water I make a point to stick to them. Oh sure it should be a mandate to make everyday momentous but let’s also plan some highlights ahead of time, push the envelope, or take the envelope on a roller coaster named 2012.
Some past resolutions include; learning an instrument (guitar, thanks to Michael), getting a pet (welcome to the world Marten Pumpkinface Purrsian), this website (thanks Anja and the good people of Visa), forever tattooing a hare on my thigh (thank you Paul) and taking a trip somewhere with someone (Meowers and me in NYC for last NYE).
I take the ol’ resolution list quite seriously thankyouverymuch.
But for 2012 I need to step up some game. I’m 30 now, it’s adulthood time and by this I mean I badly need to avoid marriage and children and get an even stranger weave or wardrobe. Let’s face it, you presume no less. I badly need to take stock and start getting busy with building an empire, world domination and my role in the world. Everyone has a role, we’re all connected, don’t get me started on this life stuff kids I could go forever and ‘eva.
So, 2012…
* I am going to post something to the damned Internet 365 times within this calender year. All in all, we should end up at a post a day, once I get the schedule. And get my shit together. Easier typed than done but I embrace this cause I love this so I need to make time to do this.
* Embracing a fit lifestyle. While downtown I walked everywhere, (at least an hour a day), swam a couple of times a week, always took the stairs and lived on caffeine and nicotine. Some of that was a good thing, others not so much. The point is…an active lifestyle fell by the wayside and I got a little fat. We’re fixing this!
* Butting out. This nasty and ill thought out habit from my tumultuous twenties and angst-y teen years has got to go. It’s expensive, gross and pointless. I already have an apology form letter ready to go for everyone I offend.
* Get my butt to a sandy beach and sit on that beach for several successive days.
* Make Coyote take me camping and probably only last one night, possibly jeopardize our relationship and test his patience by likely having to drive home at 4 a.m. when I finally admit defeat. Who isn’t looking forward to this?!?
* Organization. I want to do everything. I can’t do everything. Which means I accomplish next to nothing. Living in the future instead of being present in the present. This is not a way to realize your dreams. So this year I’m going to do it, I’m 30 and a big girl. I can do this.
* Spending more time with friends. Less time texting or emailing, more time walking beside, sitting beside, eating across from. Face to Face. Hugging. Nothing can bring my mood from nega to posi like a Meowers hug!
* Crafternoons. Once a month I will put aside an afternoon to spend solely on sewing, glue gunning, beading etc. Then I will blog the product(s) of my crafternoon efforts for all to see or shun.
These are just some of many, I have a little list tucked away, full of sparkles and awesomeness just ready to burst all up in 2012′s business.
What are your resolutions?
Ch-Ch-Changes
Look up, wayyyyy up…too far, you’re cold.
A little lower.
Under the picture, you’re warm…oh look at those new pages you haven’t clicked on before…
I renovated the contact and about me pages of this very blog so you can discover more about my personality and then get so offended by it that you feel the need to tell me off. And look at me enabling you! And I assure you I will read your email and likely never respond and/or shake my head if you make up an email address to leave me a nasty comment. Or approve your comment and add you to my blogroll. (Over to the right…see?)
(RANT: Guaranteed I will have some holier-than-thou-whilst-hiding-behind-their-monitor-screen jackass go at me about how stupid I am to think I have ______ or ______ and how can I claim to be a good judge of character because I have implants. Not. Kidding. Apparently saline filled water balloons and being vain mean I am indeed a total asshole ditz. Which maybe I am but the difference between me and you is that you are pathetic enough to care.)
See how well quitting smoking is going?
Open Letter to Summer Sunshine
Dear Summer Sunshine,
Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It feels like it’s been a while. Do you miss Canada?
I haven’t had to strain my eyes against your boorish light in many moons and just today I was waxing poetic, missing those squinting moments. I miss the sound of your wind through the tree leaves and the cicadas, the sound of Harley jumping in to the pool and the sight of blue skies and puffy white clouds. Day after day.
Your friend Winter has been quite uneventful, he’s held back on the whole freezing tundra vibe he used to lean on for years and years. But he’s a grayish colour mostly and not romantic and soft as only falling snow can make one feel. It’s not cold enough to snuggle by a fire and if anything he’s icier than he’s ever been.
But enough about that bore.
It’s you I miss.
I even miss Spring, even though we all know she smells like dirt and can be her own shade of gray, even a little crisp but not as crisp as your friend Autumn. You three I just adore in your own little ways but between you and I, Summer you are the one for me.
This may seem forward but we should go to Vegas together and marry via some tacky Elvis impersonator.
I often dream of one day relocating to locations amongst North America that subscribe to you 9, 10, even 11 months of the year. Rainy season? Bah, totally doable. I have even considered a trip to the electric beach, just to catch three or four minutes of radioactive rays, almost as a reminder to my skin what you feel like.
I know you will be here soon, only a couple of months to go but I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and I can’t wait for you to get here. I know right now I may not look the greatest in a bathing suit but we’re working on it, I may jump out of a cake for you when you arrive.
Call or write when you have a minute.
Love you long time.
Forever Yours,
(Very Pale) Tinka O’Curry
(Surrounded by Vitamin D lozenges with unhappy look on face.)
Tebow Love
I’m not one for the religious types but I read this article on ESPN and the only thing I could think of is that the world seriously needs more Tebow(s).
” Here you are, about to play a game that the world says is the most important thing in the world. Win and they praise you. Lose and they crush you. And here I have a chance to talk to the coolest, most courageous people. It puts it all into perspective. ” – Tim Tebow